Let The Choir Sing!

i must be the only gay person i know who is not a Madonna fan. but i gotta say, Glee made her relevant yet again. this show had a slow start especially from the first to the 3rd episode, however from the time somebody got knocked up, it got quirky and interesting. it grew on me. i'm now hooked.

Advent aka, Gleek #20291278

School or Wheels?

a car or higher education?

a mazda or AGSB?

i've been mulling over which one i would be investing my hard earned money oN.

i was dead set on getting a post graduate degree later this year. i want to be the first in my family who will ever have one. it will be my proudest accomplishment.

however, it seems that almost all the signs around me are telling me to go get my own set of wheels. it's not as if i drool every time a colleague brandishes their newly acquired toy, but my life is in dire want of mobility.

both are wants.

nothing would be lost if i do not get either of the two. but i would most definitely gain a lot if i do. note: getting both is out of the picture. at least not anytime soon.

pros
a post graduate degree can take me anywhere, literally. a car can take me anywhere, literally and figuratively.
advantage: wheels

a car can give me spatial freedom. a degree can give me financial freedom.
advantage: post grad

a car can boost my sexy points. a degree can boost my nerd factor.
advantage: car. unless, mr. right digs a sexy nerd, then it's a tie. haha.

cons
post grad: spend now, earn later. a car: spend now, spend more later.
advantage: post grad

for a car, i have to give up my reliance on cab drivers. for a post grad, i would have to give up 2 years of my night life.
advantage: car

a post grad can (definitely) hurt my wallet. a car can (definitely) hurt my wallet and (possibly) hurt people (including me).
advantage: post grad

a car can make me happy. a post grad can make me happy.
advantage: it's a tie!

--
in other news, i really abhor the turn out of the Ampatuan murder trial. this, ladies and gentlemen, is like witnessing  Cirque du Corruptus and we got ringside seats! to DOJ secretary Agra, i ask you this: how can you sleep at night knowing that you let two of the worst offenders in Philippine history get off with a slap on the wrist while the families of the slain are still agonizing the tremendous loss?

i've seen the coverage of ANC of this and read all related articles...it is just utterly frustrating!

--
on a lighter note:
i'm going to Morong, Bataan this Friday with my kids.

i. wish. it. was. friday. NOW.

Mad Strings 2: On Call

it doesn't matter who starts iT. you could be horny, or curious how he sounds when he moans, or just in need of a release. come on, admit it, you're just playing along, right? curious as to what nasty thing the other guy on the line would say to you,, aren't you? on rare occasions, when you get a guy who is so into it, you give in.


motioN. you start touching yourself. groovin' to the beat of his guttural moans. it gets faster and faster, or slow and deliberate. like a wave crashing back and forth. 


both of you start doing brush strokes on a canvaS. subject: anatomy.  you create the atmosphere, the venue, the circumstance for this encounter. 


he then talks about taking you so forcefully, you end up black and blue lateR. but who cares, right? illusory soreness go away at the speed of thought. you let go of your inhibitions and start mind fucking him from here 'til sunday.


your pulse starts to risE. you can feel your muscles tense. you tell each other how close you are to the edge. each one trying to out-moan the other.


he tries to catch his breath as it erupts over hiM. you drench yourself in your love. 


spenT. sometimes the best sex, happens in the mind. you hang up. you then wipe away the imaginary spoil. no matter which way it goes, you always end up feeling silly on the inside.


aka, S.O.P.s
Advent

On The Market

numbers
2 months since i decided to end our relationshiP. it's been 4 long weeks since i last saw my ex. different reasons came up every week. no withdrawal symptoms. i've never been more free.

it's been 4 years since i can say i'm on the markeT. not that i've never been tempted to dip my feet into the waters during that time. it's only now when i can do it without the creeping guilt.

so what have i been doing recentlY? i really didn't want to put myself out there until 6 months after our break up. so i was just living at the moment. just taking care of my  business. but you know what they say: when you are looking for something, it never arrives and yet when you are not, then they come.



menagerie
the basket case
i met him in one of my classeS. he caught my eye. not really gorgeous, but enough to make you take a second look. tall and has a "band singer" aura. i was more of a substitute for their class so i didn't stay long. one of his classmates was really into me but i didn't take it seriously.

2 weeks later i got an anonymous texT. he introduced himself as BC. he asked if i still remember him. i do, but i said something along the lines of 'help me remember'.

we had conversations that ran for hourS. first impressions were broken down. new ones were formed. he has a girlfriend. but he wants me.

the clinical instructor
i was just winding down my day when i decided to log in downelinK. old school, i know. i was about to log out when i got this IM blinking. i didn't even know DL had an IM function. i first though it was one of those phishing scams. i clicked it anyway.

i got into one of the most interesting conversations i've had in ageS. a typical chat session for me ends when i grow tired of the asinine chatter on the other end of the line. mr. CI kept me hooked. he had a very good way with words. he managed to make jaded ol' me blush. me! of all people. i've seen/heard 'em all. but he was different.

checking him out, a pinoy beautY. sexy brown skin with matching soulful eyes. plus he's got that built i go nuts over.

he sounded very put togetheR. attraction point: same age as i am. i'm envious because at a considerably young age, he is already way more successful than i am.

atom

for lack of  a creative monicker, i just decided to call him by the first person that came to my mind when i saw his pictures: Atom Araullo. a real dead ringer. 

funny how i met hiM. it was when i was about to quit the same downelink session i had with CI above. i have a weakness for boy next door looks. 

a culinary arts student who would be graduating this junE. first time he called me, i called him CI's name because i got the numbers mixed up. haha. but he was cool with it.

downside, he is 6 years my junioR. my threshold is 2 years. at least he doesn't sound childish. he is surprisingly more mature than BC above.

--

on some days, i ask myself if i'm ready for this agaiN. on some days, i ask myself what am i waiting for? this ride's going to be interesting. :)

Hair-o-graphy

all day today i've been seeing bald meN. some carry it well. some don't.

i just saw my dad the other day and boy was his hair one step away from leaving the buildinG. no, he's not bald. it's just really, really thinned out.

i have the misfortune of being born in a family with really thiN, limp hair. however, if there's one thing to be assured of, it's that the seniors never lost their hair. it just, well, thinned out. you know, where you see hair, but you also see some scalp.

i guess that is why over the yearS, i've been wandering the desert of differing hairstyles. today's 'do, tomorrow's mirage.

i have phalacrophobia: the fear of going bald. is that a bad thinG? 

so this entry is more of an ode to haiR. i was thinking if ever my hair goes the way of the dodo someday, at least, i'd have a scrapbook full of different looks i've tried over the years.

20-something years ago: starting at the tips

i was born with straight hair. then over the course of several yearS, in grade school, for some unknown reason, it suddenly turned curly. this fact, compounded with the fact that i inherited the thin hair strands so characteristic of my dad's side of the family, made my sense of identity non-existent. 

i hated my hair. in tagalog, manipis na nga, salot pa. LOL. i remember being in denial, trying everything i can to somehow straighten it out. at 12 i had this silly notion that if i sleep with a swim cap on (you know, those skintight rubber things?) i would wake up with straight hair. hay...so naive.

but i tried to compensate by other meanS. i must have tried every imaginable hair product known to man. gels, mousse, spritzers, shine vitamins, wax, hair clay... name the brand, i've tried it.

(aka PDV - public display of vanity)

Movie Marathon 2

Keillers Park tells the story of a man who blossomed late in life. the allure of a pretty young boy toy swept him off his senses. how much are you willing to sacrifice is the movie's tagline. in the protagonist's case, everything.

there were some good points and some really cliche-ic ones about the moviE. we've seen it all before. a 30-something repressed man on the doorstep of marriage, suddenly getting conflicting emotions about who he really is.

good points: i like how the movie featured two men who are borderline attractivE. by that i mean they are not celluloid-ready drop dead gorgeous demigods who you will never see in real life. they are accessible-attractive: these are the guys you would see in your office, or in the bar or pretty much everywhere else and would make you go: hmm...pwede.

i like movies that respect your intellecT. shots that show non-speaking parts that tell a whole gamut of emotions. this movie runs plenty of such moments.

Peter, the main character is a man born with a silver spoon in his mouth. he was at the threshold of inheriting his father's architecture firm. he was about to get married to a homely lady. their lives were mapped out in front of them. that is until one faithful encounter.

Nassim is a frivolous, flambouyant free spirit. you know those "artist" types (read: beautiful, creative, and poor). he dances to beat of his own drums. he sets Peter's gray world on fire.

cliche: peter gives up everything for Nassim. he gets disowned. he hurts the soon-to-be blushing bride and possibly scars her psychologically for life after the way he admits what he really is. his perfect life, gone in a flash all because he yearned for Nassim. he was overtaken by a primal love.

eventually Nassim becomes over the top obnoxious and out of control. and for those who dig these kind of things: there's a lengthy frontal nudity. (warning though: of the flaccid kind). soon, the once "perfect couple" existence gave way to "familiarity breeds contempt".

what is not a cliche though is how the actors reacted to the sadness that wrought their lives. there were no crying-in-the-shower scene with matching sliding downwards to a seating/fetal position. how they cried, how they said their lines, how they fucked and climaxed (5 minutes sex, tops) are all based on real life. Nassim can somehow be a celluloid metaphor for all of those exes we've had that left us after we grew "predictable" for their "tastes". burn them! burn them all! (hehe)

cliche: there is no happy ending. just see it for yourself. they just had to do it.

i'd give it a 6.5 out of 10. i'll add a .50 more for the understated yet really compelling acting from some of the support cast.

--

lazy Saturday at home.

--

my mom's been discharged from the hospital. i am so relieved. she's doing well with the recuperation.

Mad Strings 1

"trivial matters are tranquil seas of deception. never let your guard down. know when your so called apprentice conceals a dagger behind the veil. take on the guise of water. learn how to ebb when the time calls for it, then surge when the opportunity arises. water can never be stabbed. drown him in torrents of his own iniquities."

-Advent