Discretion

a blogger friend asked me: what's your slant on your new bloG? at first i didn't really catch his drift. he explained, what persona are you gonna have?

got me thinkinG. i've always known that people blog as an escape. a hedonistic break away from sordid reality. i used to see it that way.

notice how tons of blog out there on the web try be the next big kahuna by having this or that gimmicK?

if it was the old me, i'd say something along these lineS:
i just want to fuck you. a mind fuck, that is. one so satisfying, it leaves us both spent. each entry would be a different position, disparate and climactic. afterwhich, we can both go our separate ways. no strings attached.

how's that for a slanT? nah. too much effort. and besides, it would be a monumental task to keep that up. eventually, it fizzles out because it's not inherent.

i won't try as hard as i did when i was little boy bloggeR. in fact, i just want to let my hair down for a change. all i want is safe cove for my thoughts and my creations.

one of my realizations after a lengthy affair with blogging is that we come up with little voices in our head as we writE. sometimes, this is one "voice" you do not really use in your real life. it may be fascinating at first. but then it gets stale.

i'll use the real onE. the one most people seldom get to hear.

Advent Next

i write because i exisT.


i've been here beforE. back then i was a fawn. a sapling with Napoleon complex. think purple prose-i-am-an-existential-writer type. i've tried reading my earlier blogs. how naive/pretentious i was. but people grow up.


i come back wiser, better...oldeR. at least i hope so.


am i really that olD? well, it depends. in 3 years i'll hit the big three-oh. is that considered old? we've been hearing so and so age is the new 20. every decade or so, it goes up incrementally. soon you'd hear 60 is the new 20. ha!


nostalgia and renewed hope - reasons why i've come bacK. i could never stay away from writing. not now when i've got a boatload of material. i've always held this belief that a moment - no matter how glorious - would soon be lost to time unless you put it to paper (albeit, an electronic one). the mind is unreliable when it comes to keeping things for posterity. sometimes it throws away even the good ones.


during the extended hiatus i had from writing, i've found- and subsequently lost- love; i've gotten into trouble more times than i can recall; i've gotten in and out of messy hook ups, flings and irresposible pseudo-relationships; i won 5oo battles but i've fucked up a thousand;


on the positive sidE: career wise, i've been promoted a couple of times; i'm definitely moving up but i'm not there yet; i've scrapped 500 dreams but i've created a thousand new ones.


but this new blog is not going to be a recount of all of thaT. this is all about the new life i have. this is going to be all about my new conquests. this is going to be about what makes me jittery; what makes me smile like a buffoon; what titillates me, what horns me up; what would well up tears in me, what would break me down and pick me up again -it's all about NOW. although, i would have to say, what good is a show without a flashback or two every now and then?


i would like to move in a different directioN. my audience is primarily you (not you-you, but you-me). Mad Hatter confusing? i guess it would be. the you i'm referring to is the me i will be in 30, 40, -or heaven allow- 50 years time. but you (this time really you, my not-me reader) are definitely welcome. I'd love some company. Neil Patrick Harris sang in this ditty at the Oscars this year..."no one wants to do it alone...".


so here goeS. . i write because it's like breathing. i write because it's innate.


i write because i exisT.



-Advent Child
madstringsmanifesto.blogspot.com

(and here i was thinking that i would be having a writer's block after not having written anything for so long)