Saturday, September 22, 2012

Unfolding Packages

there is something about depressing christmas songs that makes me fancy them more than the cheerful ones.

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i've been spending a lot of time lurking in twitter lately. more like a curiosity observer. i can't believe how many horny dudes are out there. i guess it's easier for today's generation to answer that carnal craving - they have all these avenues. back in my day, you have to really go out there. now, all they do is type something in, wait for a response, and viola! instant companion for the night!

i never add these guys, nor reply to any of their tweets. there is comfort in watching from afar. just like watching animals behind the glass cages at the zoo. or in twitter terms: i create lists. i have to admit, i am more drawn to the local hornbags than the foreign ones. saying horny words in tagalog, i guess, makes it raunchier. hehe.

here's my menagerie of horny twitter dude archetypes:

curiosity #1 - guys who post headless shots
freaky. yes i know, you have a torso, cut like adonis. and yes i know you want to streak it online but why don't you have the balls (pun intended) to show your face?

curiosity #2 - boohoo-notice-me guys
one example is this guy with a half body shot (yes, including his handsome face). just from the picture alone, you can tell that he has: 1. gone to the shower, 2. freshened up, 3. applied a moisturizer/toner/whatever. oh, and then he captions the picture: TIRED or HAGGARD - exactly the opposite thing. i get your game, mr. conceited. you just want to get comments from your denizens of horny fans saying "no, you're not. you're so cute kaya!". no cookie for you, here's my virtual eye-roll.

curiosity #3 - the horny goat seekers
those who post their most seductive looking poses (the more bulges, the better), then go around talking dirty to anyone who would pass by his account, showering him with adulation. a virtual carinderia. sometimes, the food on display is enticing, but sometimes, it's just plain dirty.

curiosity #4 -RT-ers
their walls are flooded with retweets from porn accounts. you could really see what type of kink are turn-ons for these guys. are they twink lovers? bear huggers? daddies? fetishists? the list is endless. thanks for the material. they're, uhm, handy... ;)

there are more out there waiting to be discovered.

just out of curiosity, add me: madstrung

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today is a Saturday. this week breezed by so fast and yet i still have a lot of things left to do in the office. but hey, it's the freaking weekend.

im looking forward to spending quality time with the ones i love.

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happy weekend, you hornbag!

1 comment:

Eternal Wanderer... said...

wait. i got confused with the tile of the post.

christmas packages or packages of the sordid sorts?

weeeeee