Tuesday, February 28, 2012

T.B.L. Vol. 4: Lover's Moon (Season 2)

remember this, a couple of posts back?

T.B.L. stand for The Becklette Lessons. i would like to define becklette as a becky who is of the age of innocence (or lack thereof). anywhere between teen to early 20s. i want to impart knowledge to my brethren who are of the younger set. there are so many of them out there.

if you do not fall within this age range anymore, you have to admit, you were a becklette once. didn't we, at one point in our lives, say this: i wish i knew then what i know now? some of us grow older, but never grow up. maybe, just maybe, this could still help.

i havent done this in a while. people do grow uP eventually, and so i would like to re-write how this goes. i would like to make it a little bit more personal this time around. i don't want to preach, i just would like to voice out what i've been through. and so, for Season 2, i'm rebranding this. it should go like this:

T.B.L. stand for The Becks Lessons. i would like to define becks as a gay guy who is of the age of innocence (or lack thereof). anywhere between teen to mid 20s. young, beautiful, and most often, foolish.

i was, once upon a time, in that phase. you have to admit, you were too. didn't we, at one point in our lives, say this: i wish i knew then what i know now? some of us grow older, but never grow up. maybe, just maybe, this could help. these passages may or may not contain lessons, but they tell a story.

lesson#12: no other gay man

there is a strangE phenomenon going on and it probably has to do with the market being too saturated here in manila. often, you will scratch your head at the fact thaT a number of those "seeking" for potential partners are those that are in relationships.

it probably is one of the oldest sTories of infidelities in our world. you'd meet someone casually, sparks fly, you get to know each other, continue for a month, then boom! you find out he's in a relationship.

a lot of blog posts have been written about this, some rivalling the holiness of the pope, telling you off that what you are doing is immoral and that you would destroy lives (partially true) and you'd go to hell (well, maybe), while on the opposing side, it would be one-upping the indecency of the worst kontrabida slut you can think of, telling you that it's just having fun (partly true) and that you know when to stop (most often, not true).

i learned my own way. there is no right or wrong way to go about it. i say: go fuck each other sore, give him the best damn sex he's ever had but afterwhIch, go exorcist-crazy on him and slap him real hard for his partner. when you hear the door slam shut after he leaves, stand in front of the mirror, and slap yourself real hard for you to wake up. do it twice, if your dream is of the 2nd level inception type. then hug yourself.

plan it out. as soon as you find out he is in a relationship, apply lesson#1 of TBL (look it up), suck it up. then make sure you go out with a bang. this way, you get to have a "taste" of this man whom you've been spending/wasting a good month or so of your life with. you won't get any "what ifs" (what if he has a huge cock? what if he tastes really good? what if he has a mole on his left ball sack... you get the point). doing it oftentimes dispels the curiosity (no he doesn't have a 9-inch magnum more like a 5 incher on a good day; he tastes like lukewarm onion soup and smells like one too, and if that's a mole, then i would have to redefine brownish ball sacks)....my point is, finding out gives you the disappointing answers.

and he would also leave you feeling scared shit from your ghetto act. and maybe, just maybe, he will smell the coffee too and learn.

win-win. at least on your part.

lesson#13: sometimes you are Halle Berry for the Monster Ball winning an Oscar, and sometimes you are the Halle Berry for Catwoman getting a Razzi.

yes, you are Halle Berry. a strong and beautiFul black woman. your sex appeal can cut a man in half. yup. and then you wake up.

sometimes you win big and sometimes you appear to win, but in reality you are just making a fool of yourself. let's take for example: going out to the gay scene a while back. there are some nights where i felt i was not at my best form, and yet, i get to score with that hot guy i've been eyeing the whole night. win for me! but there are nights when i came out in my sexiest, come-fuck-me outfits. i dabbed on my manliest-yet-fruity-but-seductive eau de parfum. i had an after facial glow. and what happened? nothing. it's just me and my hand that night. hahaha.

but what matters is this: you accept the award no matter what it is, with unnerring grace and panache. don't take yourself too seriously. learn to laugh at yourself. the wOrld would then laugh with you, not at you. so simple, yet back then i wished i had this mindset that i have now. i guess youth is really wasted on the young.

lesson#14: you are not your possessions

who knows that i would find a nugget of wisdom in a Disney movie? remember the circle of life? always think of your place in life as part of a greater whole. cliche, i know. but wait.

people often visualize society as a pyramid. i would prefer to think of it as a circle. a circle doesnt have a summit. you don't have to strive to claw your way to the top because there is no top! it's one long roundabout shape. and it could go either clockwise or counter clockwise. and it would always go back to you.

there would always be beckys out there who would always be hotter than you, more popular than you, richer than you. but always remember, that you would always have that something that they do not have. try visualizing the circle and where you are placed in it. you might see them as somewhere ahead of you. but that one thing you have and they don't? well, they also see you the other way around.

there's nothing wrong with aspiring for gadgets that cost an arm and a leg. i know i've been drooling for the latest apple has to offer. i know the prices have been prohibitive because i have to set aside my money for other stuff i need for my new place. and then i see these trust fund gays who walk around waving their i-whatevers like they are trinkets. at least when i get one, every sinGle centavo was from my pocket. i can not place a value to that.


happy tuesday! good luck with the traffic caused the humongo-ginormous gathering of the INCs in Manila.


joelmcvie said...

LOL! Loved Lesson #13, especially since I learned it the harder and more cruel way, which is in the bathhouse. There you can't hide behind Dior's outfit and scent. There it's about your look and your aura.

And there I was more Halle "Meowrrr!" Berry than Halle "Rraaaaawr!" Berry. But it took me a while to learn to accept the award with grace. At first instead of accepting the award, I'd just reward myself with a Big Mac (oh food, you never disappoint!). But that led to a Big McVie, which is a sure-fire way to get more Razzis.

So after a quick slap in the face, I had to learn the art of giving a cute-but-sincere acceptance speech. And now I can safely say that, win or lose, "I like me. I really like me."

Advent said...

oh yeah, i've been in some bath houses in my youth too. i would have backed out coz sometimes i'm more of a halle "whimper" berry. hahaha.

but yeah, i've learned, through trial and error.

here's to loving ourselves more! cheers! :)

H A R R Y G O A Z said...

Have a SUPER weekend!

Advent said...

thank you, harrygoaz. :)

i'm sure it will be a blast.