Tuesday, July 27, 2010

T.B.L. vol. 1: The Ex-Factor

T.B.L. stand for The Becklette Lessons. i would like to define becklette as a becky who is of the age of innocence (or lack thereof). anywhere between teen to early 20s. i want to impart knowledge to my brethren who are of the younger set. there are so many of them out there.

if you do not fall within this age range anymore, you have to admit, you were a becklette once. didn't we, at one point in our lives, say this: i wish i knew then what i know now? some of us grow older, but never grow up. maybe, just maybe, this could still help.

lesson #1: the ex -pectations

in my numerous trysts with our kind, i must have ran across every single representation of our kind out there. but no matter what configuration they arrive in, you have to expect that sooner or later they will exit your life. it's a cold, hard fact. i just want to be upfront about it. it may be as spectacular as how they entered it, or it could just be a sputter.

in life, or specifically, in becky life you will probably have 4 great ex-es (plural of ex-). those 4 ex-es would determine how you go about in your other non-serious flings. they would always be the mold that you would pattern the replacements to.

lesson # 2: there is no such thing as a 3-month rule

wake up. you are not john lloyd (or bea, if you prefer). that concept is for them straight folks. they want to fool themselves into believing that there should be time after every break up. it's a way to give time for their wounded egos to heal.

as beckys we have more ego to spare than the straight ones. so much in fact, it seeps out. so no matter how desperate you are after a break up, most probably it's because you've only experienced it a couple of times. toughen up, soldier. you'll get to a point where you would soon be impervious to the coldness it brings. it's like stitching up a flak jacket. the more inexperienced you are, the thinner it is. as you face more wars, the flak jacket can take more shit coming your way and the higher the probability you'll escape unscathed.

lesson # 3: there is always life after death...

of the relationship, that is. don't despair. if you will, try to let it simmer for just a day (3 at most), but not more than that! anything longer than that and it's just self-flagellation. what you come out as, depends on you. would you be a monster, ready to devour a hapless soul to get your revenge or do you take the high road and become a better man? you don't have to worry what road you take. everybody would eventually take both paths. it's just a matter of when. you would never know how it is to be a better man if you do not face the monster that is within. and likewise, how can you be a beast, if you don't know where to strike the honest man where it would hurt the most?

lesson # 4: do not lose yourself, but LOVE for all it's worth

give your 60% in every relationship (the remainder is what you keep true to yourself). a relationship that imposes you give more than this means you are taken for granted. let me tell you this, it would not end pretty. you see that splatter on the ground that was once a human becky? yes, that's what happens when you've lost the ground under you. you fall...to your death.

despite this, love like the end of the world is coming tomorrow. try to squeeze every single ounce you can out of it. never let go if you can still fight for it. always give it a shot. you never know.

for all it's worth, love!

be a romantic-realist. i know i am. ;)

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Overheard 3

well, not really "heard" but seen.

i was checking my FB when my laitera friend texted me that she chanced upon this status of one of my so called friends. it reads:

"i hate myself for being so pickle minded."

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seryoso siya.

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laitera friend and i shared a fit of text snickering. :)

Friday, July 23, 2010

Back Door Man

have you ever seen a porn so disturbing, it made you less horny than it should havE?

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let's be honest, we've probably logged in millions of man hours if we combine our collective porn streaming. those who deny this: drop dead, liar!

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try this really out there theme: power tools. i had a headache and a fit of nausea soon after viewing this drivel. name a power tool, it was there and it was perverted. it's one of those things so mind-blowingly revolting, you can't look away.

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so there was this nelly bottom getting power hammered in the rear. they retrofitted this tool and attached a dildo to the end part. the result? madness.

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and then, the nasty part. after an agonizing 15 minutes of getting power pounded, they took a shot of his ass. and guess what...let's just say it wasn't dry...and it was a color you wouldn't want to see outside of your restroom.

no more. i permanently deleted the file.

and i'm mentally SCARRED for life.

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which brings home my point: what is it in butt sex that most of my brethren find so enticing? i mean, it doesn't even look remotely pleasurable. definitely not for the bottom because he takes the pounding; and for the top - how can anyone stand sticking it in that hole?

remember my mantra about not dissing something unless you've tried it? well i have every right to diss it. i've played both roles. and neither is anything resembling my definition of hot. a hot mess maybe a better description.

there are so many other things i can do to you that are equally (if not more) pleasurable than taking it in the/giving it to the behind. you just have to get your kamasutra on. ;)

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whoever can get this reference, gets a cookie from me...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Mad Strings 7: Ready

at the end of uncertainty comes the uncertainty of the end...


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scared.

...

ready.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Movie Marathon 4

i have a fascination for foreign pink movies. the treatment, the settings, the social acceptance, may all be different, but the love is universal. thanks to the wonders of the internet (aka, torrents) i have a new one almost every other day. i will be putting up these movies. good or bad overall, for me they serve as a window. there's a whole wide world out there. we just need to open our eyes to the possibilities.


Author: Spleen


Another writer put his(?) finger on what had been bugging me: Steven and John really have nothing in common, apart from the fact that they're both gay; and it's not as if two people of opposite sexes both being heterosexual is enough to create a spark. (Ah, if only.) -Sure, they're both typically randy seventeen-year-olds; but we're told that THIS relationship, unlike Steven's furtive sexual encounters and John's mechanical fling with an underwear model, is special. Really? I would have liked to have SEEN the relationship - the actual, first-order relationship, not just John and Steven's second-order talk about it.

This brings me to the main reason I found "Get Real" hard to enjoy: it seems to consist entirely of painfully protracted, hesitant, fumbling, conversations in which neither side has any idea what he or she wants to talk about. When Steven first meets John - when he first meets ANYONE - it seems that all he can do is um and ah and look at the ground. -Realistic? Perhaps, but it just goes to show how little realism is worth, if it means we have to sit through one slow, awkward scene after another for 110 minutes. For this reason I wasn't so bothered by the speech at the end. That was awkward, too; but at least it showed that Steven had managed to string words together into coherent and reasonably fluent paragraphs. About time.

I'm reminded of the (few) films I've seen about the social ostracising of gays, like "The Sum of Us" and "Boys Don't Cry"; they, too, have colourless, under-defined central characters and relationships. If the central romance is heterosexual, writers feel the need to create some kind of special something to make it interesting to outsiders; if it's homosexual, that fact alone is felt to be enough. -This is less true of the romance in "Boys Don't Cry". But then, that relationship isn't really gay.

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for me, the movie has its moments. i probably would have appreciated it more if i'd seen it 10 years ago, back when i was still a teenager struggling for an identity. but seeing it now, it's more fluff than substance. nonetheless, there are still golden moments. 


i would have given it an 8 out of 10 ten years ago but factoring in the onset of age (and hopefully, wisdom) i'm giving it a 6 out of 10.  hehe





Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Rain on My Parade

i had a brain fart a few minutes agO. i was too preoccupied with the file i'm working on when a colleague passed by my office. she had some little chit chat about the rain pitter-pattering outside my window. i blurted out:

"may bagyo daw, signal number 1 na sabi ng NASA."

short pause.

then we blurted out laughing.

--

what next, moderate rains with a chance of alien landings?

Mad Strings 6: The Sly Ones

would you bite the hand that feeds yoU? the younger, less calculating me, would have. now, i ask: how do you extricate yourself from the feeling of being part of a bureaucracy?

power begets power. and those who get a taste of it feel like they need more. some aspire for the zenith all at the expense of trampling on other individuals. others want to be a beacon of integrity but fear the waves crashing on their sandcastles. do you sell out to reach the goal or do you hold on to your ideals even if it means losing?

it gets complicated when your dreams are at stake. ideals or dreams? which hold more weight? can your ideals sustain you, nourish your body, give you a roof above your head? can your dreams keep you from being ashamed of what you've become?

the struggle for balance is precarious. it's like walking along a path on the edge of a jagged cliff. one false step, and you kiss the gloom below.

why does it have to be like this? 

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Thursday, July 8, 2010

Oh My Gawd

stop the presseS! i have to make this really life changing decision. one so important, so relevant, so ... relevantly important (haha).

do i or do i not get the Gold passes to Raymond vs. Raymond aka the Usher concert?!?!

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one time nya lang alisin shirt niya, solve na ko. lol

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come to think of it, gold is still too far for my liking. i would have wanted to get the moshpit tickets, but they're sold out. i wanted to be so close, my face would be covered in his spit.

and in my deepest, burliest, manliest, guttural,voice shout: usher pare, i love you! marry me! lol. i just want to give him a gay out moment and see how he reacts.

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damn, i have until tonight to decide.

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i guess this will help me decide.


don't you just love 3:21 in? :)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Your Wang Needs To Go

wangwang. the tagalog word for car sireN.

still makes me snicker every time i hear it. very pinoy.

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word of the day: onomatopoeia. defined as: making up a word based on how it sounds (ex, boom, cuckoo, achoo, boing, pak, wangwang...) i heard it from a college professor who happens to like dropping big words in his conversation. well, he has a doctorate in literature- i give him that. don't you just hate it when you run into someone who does this on a regular basis? you don't have to have a Ph.D. to be qualified to utter such words, but what i'm saying is, do it when the situation calls for it.

impress me with your candor, not your pretention.

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notice the trend nowadays, bloggers are being introspective. too introspective for their own good. is it because of the weather? gloomy skies equate to the spread of the emo virus. LOL.

i'm trying to not catch it.

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assuming your car has one, now that it's illegal what do you do with it? out of boredom, i was listening to AM radio this afternoon and i happened across two hilarious DJs.

top five things you can do with your wangwang

1. hang it on your tree this christmas. throw away your cheap ass lights. this is where it's at. you get lights, you get sounds.

2. put it in a dark room. play loud music. serve booze. presto! instant club! now quick, come up with a witty name like Che'lu or Bed or Top/Bottom.

3. not hearing your pa-tweetums chimes every time somebody is at the door? replace your doorbell!

4. celphone accessory. maiba lang. haha.

5. this is more for the politicians: can't wake up on time that's why you need to rush through traffic? use your wangwang as your alarm clock!

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hump day again. why can't wednesdays be more lively?

anyways, my chant: 2 days to go...2 days to go...

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Howling Sucker

similar to the Pacquiao phenomenon (no crimes during his fights), expect this Saturday and Sunday to have the Edward/Jacob phenomenon.

instead of having no crimes, there would be zero sales from girl shoppers these days. establishments, you are warned! your store is lucky if you cater to both sexes, but if you only cater to the fairer sex, might as well close shop for the weekend. your clientele are all too busy analyzing frame by frame this supposed "like, the best movie of all time evarr!" to even bother shopping for themselves.

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i've often wondered about that idiom, them girls being called the fairer sex. so...men are just...fair? lol. how bout for my kin? don't worry, brothers-in-arms, i dub us as the fairest (fairiest?) sex.

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expect to see movie houses in the Metro packed to the rafters this long weekend (long weekend for me, i follow US holidays).

anyways, here's a little something i did in the office while passing idle time by.

Advent's Eclipse queer pie chart:


Legend:
a. you've read the book, you've bought the soundtrack/posters/whatnots,
you have a shrine dedicated to Stephanie Meyer, you are the president of
the Twi-hards fan club, Manila branch, and have probably camped
outside the theater days prior to showing, just so that you are
the first in line.

b. you are an obsessed little 12 year old girl trapped in that body of yours


c. you don't want to be left out, "hey, everybody's doing it! might
as well..."

d. you want to see it for the superb acting and the soul searing 
scriptwriting that speaks to your very core...right.

e. Jacob's ABS. 'nuff said


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where do you fall under?

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can't say i wouldn't be watching though. i can not be squeamish about balot/isaw/betamax/adidas/insert-hideous-food here and pretend to act like i'm puking everytime a friend of mine eats it in front of me. why?

because i haven't tried it. ever!

my mantra is simple. one can not diss/lambast/loathe/scourge/pillage/vilify/abhor/destroy...or simply put, hate on something IF one hasn't tried it himself.

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that is why while my sister was away in the US, i snuck out her collection of Twilight books to read the entire thing...

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stop the presses! it's utter crap.

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have a good weekend everyone!