Saturday Ponderings

i've slowly inched my way back to sanity. have i, really?

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the labyrinth has been beaten. has it, really?

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a new wall blocks me. where do i go now? as the gold liquid slowly but surely sips away all my sorrow, i think i see a small crack on it's foreboding face.

the flowers break into song. lovely melody tonight. i think i might just sit by this wall and let the serenade lull me to sleep.

Wednesday Ponderings

sometimes i feel like i am getting tired of living inside my head. i'm getting sick of that inner voice. lately, i'm getting sick of myself.

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i need a jolt. i need a reckoning. i need a kick.

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i think the walls are talking to me. and the paintings too. 

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help.

Tuesday Ponderings

2 of my closest friends are moving to Cebu. sigh. i wish them well.

i would seriously want to go too, if i wasn't studying...

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i went out over the week ends. i went bar hopping with my becky posse. i don't know if this is a good or a bad thing but there are so many young 'uns like us. it's like the pink virus has spread and there's no stopping it.

beauty abounds.

temptation too.

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a lamp sits by the window. its light, sputtering. it used to be the brightest of all the colors. now, it can't even find the the base of the spectrum. it's staring out the window...thinking...my light still has some spark. so it sets its heart to go get a new bulb. 


if only the meddlesome socket would let it go. but where would it go without the juice that it needs to live?

Monday Ponderings

i felt a rumbling a while ago. the tremors are reaching even our shores. i get a bad feeling in my stomach thinking about the "what ifs"?

how ready are we for the big thing? god forbid. we are already messed up as it is.

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somehow, the tragedy gave me a shift of perspective. all the things i've been beating myself up over, all the hate i've been throwing at this guy, all the games i've been playing, all my selfishness and pride - all those things do not matter anymore. they are but trivialities.

it's all just whining.

what is that compared to those whose problems are way bigger? those who did not have a CHOICE?

i can always choose to be happy, but the poor people in that prefecture can not "will" the ocean to ebb.

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on the lighter side of things:
i went out and saw ZsaZsa Zaturnnah Ze Muzikal last Saturday. it was a riot. not as polished as i want it to be, but i noticed that they've updated some of the jokes (ex, about Sharon C.). Eula is as kickass and as funny as ever. and still smokin' hot even at the age of 42! the new Didi (not the Yakult guy), is effective enough (although not as much as the original one). and to stage this during a period when there is no big competition is a smart move. im pretty sure the The Tanghalan racked in the dough.

i just thought the only bad decision they made was to cast Rocky Salumbides. this guy is scrumptious from head to toe. he has all the curves in all the darn places there should be some (ha!). but he CAN.NOT.SING!  maybe not even if it is to save his own life. i mean, the original Dodong was not expected to be Pavarotti, but at least he can carry a tune. Rocky on the other hand, murdered the two set pieces given to him. it would have been passable if he is just a minor character...but he is the damn male lead!
arg! Eula, girl, your vocals can move mountains, but don't force your boyfriend into our pitiful ears - no matter how hot he is!

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on the drunken side of things:
we had a drunken night at Malate (surprise, surprise! how redundant of us! ha!). you know that feeling when you are in between tipsy and totally smashed. you know...the g-spot of drinking? well he's my best friend now. lol.

Mad Strings 10: The Reverb

two weeks after the silent storm and i found myself on a shore. i'm not sure where this is, but this new land i'm trekking seems pristine, yet it echoes of familiarity. i suddenly have this surge of energy. "walk, Advent.", it prodded." just walk". and so i skimmed the coastline. the beach looks promising, but the forest over yonder glow like tiger eyes. and i caught myself, smiling in mid leap.


have i told you about my knack for wrestling tigers? no? ok, then. here we go...

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do you have this predisposition to always fall for the wrong person? join the club. somehow, someway, i always get those who are: in relationships, just got out of a relationship, can't get over a relationship...bah! i already checked the mirror several times. do i have a look that scream: come get me, you dick baits?! di naman. do i have a magnetic effect to these tortured souls? do i scream: "sanctuary! come hither!" masokista ba ko? baka.

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i have not experienced the "joys" of having a hangover. ever. seriously. when my friends and i go out for a bacchanalian night and i go drink 'til we get so smashed it's not even funny, the next day, i'm fine while all my silly friends are nursing a throbbing head (yung sa taas).

i guess my body is just "engineered" that way.

so here i am several weeks later, back to my cheery 'ol self. i bounce back easily. too easily in fact, i think it's kinda eerie. correlation to my lack of hangovers? maybe.

or maybe i just have a very efficient defense mechanism.(hmm...a topic for another post. pwede.)

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for all its worth, Happy EDSA revolution day. or whatever the holiday is called. we have come a long way from the ways of old, but somehow not far enough. change comes not from the government and who sits on the chair of power. do i want to contribute? well, hell yeah! but have i done anything for the society? let me get back to you on that.

Born This Way

This could have been the new anthem...

if only, it didn't sound like....

hay.

Schisms Tres

alone.

indebted.

indifferent.

bound.

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time for a change. 

ready for the heat