Dangerous Times

and here i was going into my so called austerity measures. i've been a taxi rider for the past 4 years. i know no other means of transportation. that was until i've learned that mofo taxi cabs are raising the flag down AS WELL AS the per kilometer fare. doing the math, i would be spending 450 pesos per day on transportation alone. considering i am a bottomless pit of hunger, i would spend 300 pesos at least on food. and that is on a "i don't feel like eating" day.

damn.

so i decided to swallow my elitist pride and decided to take on buses. yes, those same behemoths that i curse because of their reckless abandon on the road. lo and behold, i got to know aircon buses. new ones at that! with fancy seats, flat screen tvs, surround sound system. the works. this other day, i got on one that was showing a movie that is yet to be shown in cinemas. damn! what rock have i been sleeping under? ha.

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so i had been on this discipline thing for 2 weeks now. i realized, i've been saving a lot. who knows, i might just be able to get that car of my dreams this year if i keep this up.

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and then tragedy.

if countries have a face, the Philippines would be so covered in sooth and grime, even it's own mother would be aghast to look at it.

i feel for the family of the victims of this violence. they who were going about their lives, ordinary, helpless, no beef with the terrorists.

why does this kind of evil exist?

and i don't see the logic that form in their twisted heads. they have a vendetta with the government, yet they prey on the hapless citizens. why not just go straight to the root of their war? bomb the f* out of each other! let them throw their volley of explosives against those in power, the moneyed, landed gentry, the military. let them snuff each other out. that way, they help the country...terrorists and crocodiles end up in flames.

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let's pray not only for the victims, but also for this country. 

Imbalance

am i really not meant to be in a relationship? i've been trying for the past few months and all i get are blanks. i have this one good shot with someone, but i am not even sure where we are going.

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the phase of hooking up and getting-to-know-yous is like coming home after doing your groceries. you unpack your paper bags and you sift through the choices. you put one or two in your UHM shelf. another, you put in your MAYBE NOT storage. and three in the OH HELL NO bin. and then after everything, you find that one special person you put in your CAN BE shelf. this shelf you reserve for someone who embodies everything you admire and yearn for. someone who makes you think of the possibilities.

i've been staring at the shelf for quite some time now. and it's taking a toll on me. 

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i've always been a romantic-realist. yes, i go through the motions of courting. i'm old school, what can i say? i prefer the slow simmer, cooked to perfection relationship. i can muster an unbelievable amount of patience and determination. in the end, i always get what i want.

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chivalry or selfishness?

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dear you,

i write this letter to tell you things. things i can not tell you in person. i'd like to tell you how much you rock the very core of my being. how you always turn my dull and dreary days around. how you speak, and my heart jumps in anticipation.

i don't normally go for guys like you, but you have this indescribable pull. i am drawn and i can not pull out of your orbit.

you know what time of day i hate the most? it's the time to go home. because that's when i would have to go back to my soliloquies and pondering of when we'll finally have that chance.

chance. what if i never met you? what if you did not step into the world i live in? what if i never saw your face? maybe i wouldn't be this pained. maybe i wouldn't be this unabashedly in fervor. maybe i wouldn't be yearning for the elusive.

i could spare myself a lot and yet, i wouldn't feel as alive as i do so now. 

xoxo,

advent

Shifting Signs

people can't get over their new zodiac signs. I, on the other hand, welcome this shift in a positive light. I am now an Ophiuchus, the Serpent Bearer. How astronomically cool is that?


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This is the Zodiac as some astrologers believe it should be:

ARIES = APRIL 19 - MAY 13
TAURUS = MAY 14 - JUNE 19
GEMINI = JUNE 20 - JULY 20
CANCER = JULY 21 - AUG 9
LEO = AUGUST 10 - SEPTEMBER 15
VIRGO = SEPTEMBER 16 - OCTOBER 30
LIBRA = OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 22
SCORPIO = NOVEMBER 23 - NOVEMBER 29
OPHIUCHUS = NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 17
SAGITTARIUS = DECEMBER 18 - JANUARY 18
CAPRICORN = JANUARY 19 - FEBRUARY 15
AQUARIUS = FEBRUARY 16 - MARCH 11
PISCES = MARCH 12 - APRIL 18

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poor Scorpios. 6 days of the year. haha.


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Characteristics of an Ophiuchus:

Interpreter of dreams, vivid premonitions

Attracts good luck and fruitful blessings

Serpent holder, lofty ideals

Seeker of peace and harmony

Doctor of medicine or science, natural-pathic

Adds, increases, joins, or gathers together


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this is going to be an interesting year, indeed.

The Stars Say

that this is the year of the metal rabbit.

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in tagalog: taon ng mga matitigas at makakating kuneho.

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so, the question is...is this your year? haha.

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HAPPY 2011 everyone!

Mad Strings 9: Go Solo

synapses fire. bodies gyrating to the beat of the music. and then. there was fire. the coastline of our lips met. how is it possible that we meet people through such unexpected events? is that how the song of time works? you never really hear the symphony. you just feel it, throbbing in your chest.

give in to the passion.

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despite the initial heat, i don't think i would lie down in the bed being offered. i don't want to. not now. i have blue and purple dreams to pursue. i have a life to put in order. please be still, little tremors.

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in other news, add me up on BBM and twitter. i'll show you my pin if you show me yours. ;) as for twitter, i picked a random name: @KeanDrey_ism. See you!

Silver Balls

don't you just love the christmas weather? the crisp, chilly winds from the north are back. hearkens me back to the days when i was but a wee little carefree version of myself. why can't we just be that? nowadays, all we associate with the wind is warming up with someone. where did that notion come from in the first place?

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i love working in the Bonifacio Global City, especially during the yuletide season. i could even say i love it way more than i loved Makati back in the days. BGC with its wide streets, decors all around, posh establishments and condos...it's almost perfect!

it's here where i can just walk around and feel the wind. it just gives me that warm and fuzzy christmas feeling. suddenly those long lost, idyllic memories of youth come rushing back.

sigh.

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i think Christmas 2010 is one of my best yet. i don't know why. maybe because i have so much to celebrate. accomplishments, be it little or grand, marked this year for me.

i was able to make a lot of things happen.

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i'm really looking forward to the coming year with renewed hope and positivity.

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good vibes, everyone!

When It Rains, It Pours

namesake (N1)
a few days before the party, he was leaving messages on my Facebook.

weird. awkward. but somehow, stirRing.

it's been 2 months since he tore me up and left me broken. all of a sudden, trite little messages here and there.

messages that led texting.
texting that led to eating out again.
Eating out that led to long walks in the misty morning.

damn.

why do i Yearn for those little moments we share? why you of all people? why do i throw my ego to the wind, in expense of your affection? why do i put up with this?

love? bah. humbug. you and your twisted rules of engagement.

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namesake's namesake (N2)
out of spite, i had a night on the towN 2 days ago. i'm not the bar type, but i decided to check one out in Ortigas.

and damn i partied like it's 2012! danced hard, drank harder. lOl.

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that's when he caught my eye. then, the dance. you know the Motions: furtive glances. the approach. the nibble. the feigned disinterest. the sense of wanton disregard of tomorrow. when i'm intoxicated my level of inhibition drops. and boy, i was drunk as hell!

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you know that feeling that when you like someone, read: really really like? it's that anD more.

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we stole the dancefloor from everybody. haters and admirers just looking on to what we do next.

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he kissed me hard.and i kissed him back. and then the world was on fire.

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fuck.

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he was asking me to go home with him.

i wanna get down, but not the first night.

a cookie if you remember that song.

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just call me N (N)
my beck friend waited for me to end my tryst. my beck friend who had always been there. who've witnessed me in my lowest low after N1 ripped my heart out.

he was advising me against going to NNs pad (i was actually thinking of going! haha). he had all the convincing words. he so adamant in telling me off. he was stern but reprimanding.

he was so up in my case. and i'm getting confused.

that's when the alcohol in me took over. i freakin lost it. i started sobbing like a damned fool. i know it doesn't make sense, but what does when you are so deep into the rabbit hole?

he shushed me. he held my hand, consoled me. then he kissed me.

i'm fucked.

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have a bamboozling middle of the week, folks!