i can't believe it's been almost a year since i last posted something.
right now, i'm chuckling. can't stop snickering at the painting, a self-portrait from a year ago. damn. i beat myself up too much over that whole hullabaloo. it's like looking at yourself after a boxing match with demons. or clowns. i'm not sure which is more comedically frightful.
----
what a diffence a year makes! let's see, how has my life changed since then? well, that painting looks so alien now, that's one.
cynicism aside, i'm in a really good place right now.
i'm still this man, struggling to suppress the inner curious kid. i'm hitting the big 3-0 in a couple of months. my only saving grace is the fact that i'm age-indifferent. it's not really a big deal for me. i just want to get it done and over with.
what else? oh yeah, i've moved out of my folks' house. got a condo - as far away from my comfort zone as possible. scared shit but i love it.
---
i'm also in love now. notice how haphazardly i threw that word out. haha. it's true, though. the universe still cares for this walking contradiction that is my skinny psyche.
a few months after my last entry, i spiralled out of the black hole i've fallen into. i was a bit shaken, but i managed to get back up. i dated for a few months. and then i meant him.
----
if only i can still track all of the stories left unpenned when i went into blogging hiatus. perhaps, in little chunks as i go along.
---
you know how in your head you sound a certain way? before, i had the "ralph fiennes-reading-neruda-poems" pretentious schtick. well, now that voice speaks in a hybrid british-ilonggo accent. hahah. i kid.
---
achievement: i've learned to love myself more. i'm a loving older brother to my younger inner self.
---
i just want to sniff the air again around here. i really can't stop writing. not ever. it's my muse, my escape.
---
You are an illuminating anchor
Of leagues to infinite number
Crashing waves and breaking thunder
Tiding the ebb and flows of hunger
You're dancing naked there for me
You expose all memory
You make the most of boundary
You're the ghost of royalty imposing love
You are the queen and king combining everything
Intertwining like a ring around the finger of a girl
I'm just a singer, you're the world
All I can bring ya
Is the language of a lover
Bella luna, my beautiful, beautiful moon
How you swoon me like no other
-Bella Luna by Mr. A-Z
---
i'm excited.
MadStringsManifesto, now on its second symphony.
right now, i'm chuckling. can't stop snickering at the painting, a self-portrait from a year ago. damn. i beat myself up too much over that whole hullabaloo. it's like looking at yourself after a boxing match with demons. or clowns. i'm not sure which is more comedically frightful.
----
what a diffence a year makes! let's see, how has my life changed since then? well, that painting looks so alien now, that's one.
cynicism aside, i'm in a really good place right now.
i'm still this man, struggling to suppress the inner curious kid. i'm hitting the big 3-0 in a couple of months. my only saving grace is the fact that i'm age-indifferent. it's not really a big deal for me. i just want to get it done and over with.
what else? oh yeah, i've moved out of my folks' house. got a condo - as far away from my comfort zone as possible. scared shit but i love it.
---
i'm also in love now. notice how haphazardly i threw that word out. haha. it's true, though. the universe still cares for this walking contradiction that is my skinny psyche.
a few months after my last entry, i spiralled out of the black hole i've fallen into. i was a bit shaken, but i managed to get back up. i dated for a few months. and then i meant him.
----
if only i can still track all of the stories left unpenned when i went into blogging hiatus. perhaps, in little chunks as i go along.
---
you know how in your head you sound a certain way? before, i had the "ralph fiennes-reading-neruda-poems" pretentious schtick. well, now that voice speaks in a hybrid british-ilonggo accent. hahah. i kid.
---
achievement: i've learned to love myself more. i'm a loving older brother to my younger inner self.
---
i just want to sniff the air again around here. i really can't stop writing. not ever. it's my muse, my escape.
---
You are an illuminating anchor
Of leagues to infinite number
Crashing waves and breaking thunder
Tiding the ebb and flows of hunger
You're dancing naked there for me
You expose all memory
You make the most of boundary
You're the ghost of royalty imposing love
You are the queen and king combining everything
Intertwining like a ring around the finger of a girl
I'm just a singer, you're the world
All I can bring ya
Is the language of a lover
Bella luna, my beautiful, beautiful moon
How you swoon me like no other
-Bella Luna by Mr. A-Z
---
i'm excited.
MadStringsManifesto, now on its second symphony.
4 comments:
and you're back :) i was wondering what happened to you.
welcome back.
thanks, man! i'm glad to be back as well. :)
And so you're back! From outer space! =)
I'm happy to hear you're in love and with a partner. I hope you don't fall into the same space I find myself in these days. Ever since I got a BF, I've found myself at a loss for words and stuff to talk about. =)
i just walked in with (out) that sad look on my face (anymore)!
thanks! oh, i was scared at first. i realized it was a game changer. i mean as far as writing is concerned. there are days when i ponder if what i want to write is something he might end up taking negatively, but there are days when i just think: i still have to keep a part of me in check. and writing is how i do just that. :)
cheers to you and your hubby! :)
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