When It Rains, It Pours

namesake (N1)
a few days before the party, he was leaving messages on my Facebook.

weird. awkward. but somehow, stirRing.

it's been 2 months since he tore me up and left me broken. all of a sudden, trite little messages here and there.

messages that led texting.
texting that led to eating out again.
Eating out that led to long walks in the misty morning.

damn.

why do i Yearn for those little moments we share? why you of all people? why do i throw my ego to the wind, in expense of your affection? why do i put up with this?

love? bah. humbug. you and your twisted rules of engagement.

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namesake's namesake (N2)
out of spite, i had a night on the towN 2 days ago. i'm not the bar type, but i decided to check one out in Ortigas.

and damn i partied like it's 2012! danced hard, drank harder. lOl.

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that's when he caught my eye. then, the dance. you know the Motions: furtive glances. the approach. the nibble. the feigned disinterest. the sense of wanton disregard of tomorrow. when i'm intoxicated my level of inhibition drops. and boy, i was drunk as hell!

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you know that feeling that when you like someone, read: really really like? it's that anD more.

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we stole the dancefloor from everybody. haters and admirers just looking on to what we do next.

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he kissed me hard.and i kissed him back. and then the world was on fire.

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fuck.

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he was asking me to go home with him.

i wanna get down, but not the first night.

a cookie if you remember that song.

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just call me N (N)
my beck friend waited for me to end my tryst. my beck friend who had always been there. who've witnessed me in my lowest low after N1 ripped my heart out.

he was advising me against going to NNs pad (i was actually thinking of going! haha). he had all the convincing words. he so adamant in telling me off. he was stern but reprimanding.

he was so up in my case. and i'm getting confused.

that's when the alcohol in me took over. i freakin lost it. i started sobbing like a damned fool. i know it doesn't make sense, but what does when you are so deep into the rabbit hole?

he shushed me. he held my hand, consoled me. then he kissed me.

i'm fucked.

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have a bamboozling middle of the week, folks!